There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
