i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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