I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
