Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
