ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
