K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
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i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
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He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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