Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
