It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
