It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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