Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We are all done wearing pants today
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
