i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
