Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
