Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
