My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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