we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
