But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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