my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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