The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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