Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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