I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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