Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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