I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
