Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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