we have pet lesbian snakes
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
