The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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