i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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