too bad you live with your parents still
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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