There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
YAS. BRING CRAB.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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