it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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