Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize