all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
