ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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