so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
