my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
