No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I see more hoeing in ur future
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
