he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
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There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
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The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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