i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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