my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
