Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
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