How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
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i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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