The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
