Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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