I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
