i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
