ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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