I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
