i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
