maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
