we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
