I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
