Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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