New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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