Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
