Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
