I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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