Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my being single is dangerous.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
