we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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