I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
