I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
