dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
