no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
