is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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